Men's Bodywork by Trevor James

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Cockblocked? How To Make It Through Quarantine If You Have A High Sex Drive

For someone with a high sex drive — especially for the single person who lives alone — the current restrictions on movement and association due to the coronavirus pandemic are a major cockblock.

Not being able to have sex or touch anyone for weeks on end seems unimaginable, and you wonder how you’ll get through. But you have. And you will. One day at a time.

Here are some ideas to help you through:

The Internet is for porn.

I know I don’t need to tell you this because I’m sure you’re watching lots of porn already, but here goes:

  • Try erotic fiction instead of video porn. You might find that it might fire up your imagination so powerfully it would surprise you.

  • Find a performer who’s on Just for Fans, or Only Fans and subscribe to their page. Most subscriptions are not too expensive and you might get a chance to interact with them when they do a live event online. Support a sex worker.

  • Is there a kind of porn you’ve been curious about but been afraid you just might like it? Click on it and explore.

  • Mix up the kind of porn you usually watch. If you don’t watch interracial, try it, or vice versa. Do you usually go for amateur-style clips? Try studio clips. If you’re looking for more sensual material, try Himeros.tv.

Play with yourself.

I’m sure you’re doing it already, so don’t feel guilty about it. It won’t hurt you. Besides, you have lots of time on your hands now, so make your hands useful. But masturbation has many facets you can try:

  • Touch yourself. As a touch therapist, touch is very important to me. Touch yourself like you would a sensual lover - slowly and gently along your neck, inner thighs, and your erogenous zones while you masturbate.

  • Nip ’n' Play. Nipples can be an erogenous zone in some people. Try exploring yours. You might be surprised by what you find. Play with them as you masturbate and pay attention to how it feels.

  • Oil up. Try slathering on more lube than you normally would, try other types of lube - warming, tingling, water-based, silicone-based, or mix them up. Have fun with it. 

  • Innie or outie? If you’re more of a top, try inserting a toy while you masturbate. If you’re more of a bottom and usually insert toys in your hole, try teasing the outside instead of inserting it while you masturbate.

  • Change positions. Switch up your tried-and-tested jerk-off positions. If you usually lie down, try standing; lie on the floor with your ass resting against the seat of a chair; be creative…

  • Edge it. Instead of hightailing it to the point of orgasm, take yourself to the edge and draw it back. Wait a little bit and try it again. Feel the sexual energy build up more and more. It’s called ‘edging’. Then you can decide when to have your orgasm. Expect an explosion.

  • Take a masturbation break. If you WFH (work from home), use your coffee/cigarette breaks as a wank break to pleasure yourself as part of your ‘edging’ practice. Just to the edge and stop. You can reward yourself with a ginormous orgasm at the end of the workday.

  • Breathwork. Tantra practitioners swear by breathwork. You can use different breathing rhythms to greatly enhance your self-pleasure experience and the size of your orgasm. Tantra4GayMen has lots of online workshops on how to do this.

  • Ride the Big-Oh! When you do have your orgasm, don’t just have it. Really experience it - how it feels, where it starts, how it makes different parts of your body feel, how long it lasts, the afterglow.… Orgasmic Shamanism instructor Marc Peridis has a lot to say about this.

Play with toys.

Toys, toys, toys galore! So much to choose from. If you have a whole drawerful of them, you can use what you have, otherwise, you can order some online. Just like with the masturbation tips, try something you haven’t tried before.

  • If you usually use your hand with your masturbation toy, try fucking it instead.

  • Try anal toys if you haven’t before. Dildos, vibrators, butt plugs… the options are endless.

  • Experiment with vibrators to see if you can have a ‘hands-free’ orgasm from the vibration alone without stimulating your penis.

Have cybersex.

With today’s technology, you have your pick of apps to use for remote sex - FaceTime, WhatsApp, Instagram, Facebook, Skype, Zoom, HouseParty… Video calls can be more fun than your solo pleasure if you do it right. As always be creative with it. 

A word of caution, if you’re concerned about your privacy and don’t know the person you’re video camming with, you might want to avoid having your face or any identifying marks appearing on camera in case they might be recording your encounter.

In conclusion.

I hope this helps you find alternatives to your craving for a hookup. We’re all touch-deprived, but we need to be a little more careful in these times.

Don’t spend all your time doing the above, though. Find your happy medium. There are also other productive activities you could do to pass your time, but I know how hard your hormones are raging right now…

Do you have any other ideas? Share them below in the comments.

Stay home. Stay safe. Observe social distancing. Wear masks. Wash your hands.