I often encourage my clients to tell me when they come in, what their idea of an ideal massage would be. This gives me an idea of what their expectations and fantasies might be. Massage is not a ‘one size fits all’ kind of business. During a massage, I observe the client’s body language and respond to feedback from their body and adjust accordingly. However, I am not a mind reader — yet — and you know what you need much better than I could ever know, so help me give you a memorable experience.

Each massage — sensual or not — is therapeutic in nature, and there are many benefits you can reap from a massage, such as:

• Ease stiffness in some joints and improve mobility

• Relax your muscles and your active mind

• Improve your blood flow. This also helps some injuries heal better

• Help your body improve your posture

• Relieve tension headaches

• Give your hamstrings a break

• Get relief from lower back pain

• Ease the tension in your neck and shoulder area

• Relieve muscular strain in the groin area that a regular therapeutic masseur cannot address

What a man wants

Once you’ve figured out the benefit you want to get from your massage, you have to decide what your sensual massage goals are. And you have to be honest with yourself and with your masseur. Are you looking for a sensual/erotic massage to address issues with a breakup, or loneliness, or are you looking for a distraction from a relationship that has lost its zing? If so, you might also want to consider therapy as well or have a ‘crucial conversation’ with your partner.

A sensual/erotic massage is, by definition, a pleasurable experience, but you might also want to:

• Simply experience touch from a man

• Explore your sexuality in a safe space

• Address issues such as erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation

• Try something new

• Fulfill a fantasy

Communicate your wishes

It’s especially helpful to know what my client needs — how much pressure you like, where you’d like the focus to be, areas to spend longer on, areas to avoid, what is uncomfortable, and so on. Any masseur would appreciate direction because they want to deliver the best possible experience, but since everyone is different, it is sometimes difficult to tell. If you come in multiple times it becomes easier to learn what your likes and dislikes are.

Some people are overly careful about offending anyone by asking the wrong question. That’s understandable, especially for a sensual/erotic massage, which has different boundaries from a purely therapeutic massage. But, really, as long as you ask politely, without meaning to be offensive, you can ask any question and get a polite and honest response.

Some questions I’ve been asked include:

• Can you wear speedos/a jockstrap/a singlet?

• Can I take you out to dinner?

• May I touch _______________?

• Can my partner watch? Can I watch my partner?

• Can you use _______________?

Relationships, Relationships, Relationships

Another great way to get amazing sensual massages is to build a relationship with your masseur. It is your knowledge of yourself, and the masseur’s expertise that will make for unforgettable massage experiences.

After your massage, if you did not mention it during the massage, do let your masseur know if there was anything you would have liked to be done differently. If you had a great experience, a review would certainly be appreciated by your masseur.

If you do decide to get a sensual massage, call/text 213.588.4242 or book online.