Breathing for pleasure…aaah
Changing the way you breathe can literally change the way you feel. Which makes breathing a really important part of your toolkit when it comes to pleasure.
Breathing is connected to everything you do
Many embodiment practices – like yoga, meditation, or mindfulness – use breath as a powerful way to stay present in the body.
Of course, we all know that breathing is essential for life itself, but more than that your breath is connected to, and can impact, almost everything you do:
“Whatever you are doing is influencing your breathing: being in movement, stillness, when you laugh or cry, when you are upset or in love. The way you breathe is an expression of what you are thinking, doing and feeling”
-Wilhelm Porzelt
Breathing is an integral part of the sexual experience
Many bodily systems involved in sex, including the nervous system, are affected by the type of breathing you’re doing.
So much so that it’s actually possible to create orgasmic states in the body just by using your breath!
Barbara Carrellas, author of Urban Tantra explains:
“You know the best thing about oxygen? It gets you high. Deep breathing during sex elevates the sensation of euphoria. The more you breathe, the better you feel, and the better you feel, the better the sex”
The trouble is that when you feel challenged or scared your body naturally starts to limit the intake of air – holding your breath, or breathing shallower.
Given how fearful many of us are when it comes to sex this can be problematic. Imagine trying to do something very physical – like a workout, or climbing a mountain – without breathing properly… you probably wouldn’t get very far!
What does breath have to do with pleasure?
The answer to that question is: pretty much everything!
Pleasure happens as a combination of arousal and relaxation in the nervous system.
When you breathe in using short, sharp breaths you start to get more oxygen into the body – causing arousal of the nervous system (this is also what happens when you experience ‘fight’ or ‘flight’).
Exhaling more strongly – like sighing – helps the nervous system start to relax (think of how this often happens naturally with your breath when you sink into a nice hot bath, or a comfy chair).
It’s the interface between these two body states where pleasure starts to occur.
Not for nothing do many of our expressions about pleasure - ‘sighing with pleasure’ or ‘panting with excitement’ - reference breathing.
In fact – if we let it do its natural thing - the human body, as it approaches orgasm, will start to increase the speed and depth of the breath, combined with deeper exhalation, sighing, and moaning. We often think of that as a porn cliché – but like most cliches it’s based in fact!
So if you want to experience more sexual pleasure one of the best places to start is by learning how to work with your breath more consciously.
Try experimenting with your breath right now:
Purse your lips (as if you’re sipping through a straw) and take some short, sharp ‘sips’ of air. Try this for a minute or two – taking about 1 sip per second. Rather than breathing into your chest try to send the breath down into your belly. Don’t force the outbreath, just let it ‘fall out’, without forcing it. You’ll probably notice you start to feel a bit more energised, or alert after a while.
Then try yawning. You can usually set one off by opening your mouth wide and pretending you’re yawning. You’ll probably notice how it opens up the back of your throat, and loosens your jaw – keep this feeling of spaciousness in your mouth as you breathe in gently and deeply. Take in as much air as you can and then let it fall back out with a sigh (imagine sinking into that comfy chair). Make sure you drop your shoulders as you do this. Keep doing this for a minute or two and then notice how you feel – probably a bit more relaxed and calm.
Start to play around with these two types of breath (arousing in-breath, and relaxing out-breath). Try them out for different lengths of time, and see what you notice in your body. If you feel uncomfortable at any point stop, and return your breathing to a more regulated state.